I frequently get asked by young people and even people in my age group for advice and I am someone who doesn’t believe in absolute advice. There is just too much of that going around; people telling women how to be or young people what they are not being, so I really dislike it. What has worked for ME is hustling while young and trying to find a balance by my mid-30s.
When you are young, you have the energy. It is #teamNO SLEEP. It is #teamGO EXTRA HARD. Use this time you have the biological advantage because it is hard to be like that after a certain age. Haha But I am serious. It is just also not healthy, physically and mentally. In my 30s it is also about my mental health. I don’t joke about it and have decided to work on it.
When I was young, it was also team “you can’t talk reckless”. People see me write or say some things now and are like: “oh I wish I had the courage to say some of these things.” Although there are still some people (especially in the Sierra Leonean community) who are like “be careful o, den go jail you o.” ha! When I was younger I was grateful for people who warned me to perhaps take it easy with that mouth of mine. This didn’t mean that I didn’t have any morals or values I held on to. One thing you must know, once you start compromising one part of yourself, it gets easier and easier to compromise more of your morals and values. By the time you reach your 40s, you are just a hot mess. It might be the Leo pride in me, because even when I was young, yes there were moments where I kept my mouth shut, because I had to eat, but there were some things that I didn’t compromise about. My parents called it stubbornness and I called it taking control of my life. This is probably also due to the sexual abuse I experienced as a child where I vowed moving forward to never be silent and be controlled again, but this is all to say, it didn’t happen overnight.
I worked for this and worked at it. If I do CHOOSE to be silent now, it is because I just don’t have the time or the energy to respond to some things and not fear. I am still working extremely hard, but I am cautioning myself more and more to take care of myself. When I was younger, it was all about: “I am young now and with no responsibilities” and “if not now when?” Now I am thinking about different things in my life. I am laying down roots and all of that. The approach is different.
So, I don’t have an absolute advice for you, young person. I think at different parts of your life there is different parts of advice on an approach to take. There are some people now who say: “oh I wish I had been more like you and focused on my studies, so I can have the education you have.” Whereas I can also say, “oh I wish I had more fun when I was younger and explored more instead of being so studious.” Everyone is different. If you do find that you are Team No Sleep, Team Go Hard in your 30s and 40s because you have the time and energy now, hey go for it! No time like the presence. Just make sure that you leave room to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
That is it from me now. Good luck in your journey.
© Voice of the Salone Diaspora
Salone Creatives 
Leave a comment